Bleeding Heart
by barya
Summary: Draco wonders how much of it was real. First part is an attempt to the behind the scenes/between the lines of the books trope. Second part concentrates on the period between the end of the war and the epilogue. Angra songfic. Please R  & R.


**Bleeding Heart**

_Draco-Ginny. First part is an attempt to the behind the scenes/between the lines of the books trope. Second part concentrates on the period between the end of the war and the epilogue._

_Songfic to Bleeding heart by Angra (you should listen to it!)._

_This is an expansion to a short one shot, Any Day's Blues._

_I used Virginia somewhere in the fic, as Ginny had been Virginia to some D/G fics, before JK decided to give her the weird name (peace!)._

_**Now I know that the end comes**_

Was it possible that she always had the end in mind? The beginning certainly wasn't planned.

_**You knew since the beginning**_

He stalked her down the hall. His hand on his wand tucked in the pocket of his robes, he was ready to claim back the familiar journal he was sure belonged to his father. The Weasleys had always been a despicable lot, and now he was sure that they were petty thieves too. He would have loved to humiliate her in front of the Great Hall, but he cautioned as he somehow knew that the journal in question is a Dark Arts item. When he had her alone in a corner, he snarled and accused her. Her cheeks flushed in red with anger as she denied the act very insolently. He tried to grab it from her. For a small thing she was strong and they struggled. The next thing he knew he was stumbling forward, his lips landing on hers.

_**Didn't want to believe it's true**_

He heard his parents arguing. His mother disapproved of father getting involved with You-Know-Who's business and also loosing the house elf. Anyway, Potter ruined everything if his father was to be believed. Stupid Potter. Is the Weasley girl really alright?

_**You are alone again**_

He passed through the kitchens from the infirmary, and took whatever pastries he can tuck to his unhurt arm. Crabbe and Goyle were in class. He was to open the door when it swung, knocking his sweets down. The Weasley girl stood in front of him, frowning, but then went down to pick the food from the floor. Damn, why can't he think of anything scathing to say?

_**My soul will be with you**_

He was smiling smugly, Crabbe and Goyle behind him as they walked to the Library. The hippogriff would be executed today, although he was not allowed to watch. His eyes wandered to a group of Gryffindors. He didn't know why he knew that they were 2nd years. He automatically looked for a shade of red. He found none. Disappointed, he walked alone to the bookshelves, prepping himself to find a book and start his assignment. There, he saw her almost lying on the floor, copying a passage from a book to her parchment. His smile returned, but instead of malice, he felt warmth inside.

_**Why's the clock even running?**_

The Yule Ball was about to end, and for reasons he does not want to admit to himself, he was panicking. The Ball was going to end and none of the moments he had imagined came to pass in reality between them. He paced the room in an effort to spot her, but she was gone. Dishearted, he went out to mope in the rose garden. That is where he found her sitting, clutching her bare foot. It figures as Longbottom had been stepping on her toes the whole night. He stood in front of her, looking up to the sky, the many insults that came very easily when they were in public, deserted them, leaving only the vacuum of silence. She alternated to massaging her other foot after a while. Her movement made Draco look down at her. It was a confusing moment in retrospect, but at that time, there seemed to be a passing understanding between the two of them. Then they heard voices coming towards their direction. Draco turned to walk away, further down into the garden path.

_**If my world isn't turning**_

He defiantly stayed sitting down on his chair as the other houses raised their glasses in honor of Potter. Cedric Diggory, a promising lad and pure wizard is dead and Dumbledore is all too happy to give a toast. Blood traitors, their days are surely numbered. He felt several judging eyes from the other tables look at him. He mustered up courage to look back at them, moving his head sideways slightly, his eyes sweeping in front. In truth, he was half afraid of what others might think of him, and only registered blurry faces and a set of brown eyes. He pulled his gaze back, and saw Ginny's disappointed face. A knot formed in his stomach and he turned to Crabbe and muttered nonsense to him.

_**Hear your voice in the doorway wind**_

"Michael Corner? Seriously?" He was usually fond of gossip and usually passes such around without verification, but not this one, this one he had to know if true.

She turned to look him in the eye. "He had some sense to actually say something to me during the Yule Ball, so I thought what the heck." She turned to resume briskly walking down the dark corridors towards the dungeons, but Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her to a cove in the wall. His fingers burned as he came in contact with her soft skin, and whatever it was he was going to say flew out of his head. His mind only contained her almond shaped brown eyes, her freckled tiny nose and her red lips... he leaned down to catch her lips, his fingers coming to rest in the soft curls of her long hair. Her lips remained closed but not resistant. He pecked at them, taking in their softness. He then proceeded to trail kisses on her cheek, she made very small movements to accommodate his advances. He continued to her ears, where he intended to nibble...

"Malfoy..." she half whisphered, half moaned, and she pushed him away very lightly.

Draco came back to his senses and heard footsteps coming their way again.

Ginny, with a swift and smooth motion removed herself from the cove and headed down to her Potions class.

_**You are alone again**_

She hexed him. He was guarding her and Potter's gang from escaping after being caught outside of the Headmistress' office. He did not know what got into him. Arrogance, wanting to show off... genuine concern maybe? He had sometimes fancied being her knight in shining armor, doing something for her, such as saving her off detention. But with the crowd around them, he could not let her off this ridiculous situation without raising suspicions. He was gentler with handling her instead, making sure she was aware of the disparity of his treatment of her against the others... such as giving her back her wand. Silly of him, for she hexed him right away.

_**I'm only waiting**_

He waited with Crabbe and Goyle. His father was caught. Everyone was giving him disdainful stares. Potter is going to pay once he comes back from the toilet.

He was not only waiting for Potter though. They were near the compartment of Ginny's crowd... and he hoped a little.

Ginny was also in the Department of Mysteries. Silly girl. Why did he like her anyway? She could have been killed. He had not seen her since the hex, had not caught a glimpse of her at the Great Hall. She knew his father was caught. She should hate him too, right? Just as the whole muggle loving wizarding community looked down on his family right now.

She would not come knocking on his compartment to hold his head on her lap and comfort him, right? Especially not after he was finished with Potter. Still he hoped a little.

_**You tear into pieces my heart**_

_**Before you leave with no repentance**_

_**I cry to you**_

_**My tears turn into blood**_

_**I'm ready to surrender**_

_**You say that I take it too hard**_

_**And all I ask is comprehension**_

_**Bring back to you**_

_**A piece of my broken heart**_

_**I'm ready to surrender**_

_**No regrets war is over**_

The feelings she once stirred was so distant, he does not even care that she was watching the trial at all. What matterd to him was his sentence... and that of his father's... and his mother's health. But he did see her in the crowd, and could not help but notice the look in her eyes. It was one full of loathing, hatred... directed at, no not at any of the Malfoys, but at the stand... at the witness... at Potter, giving his family a defensive testimony.

_**The return of a soldier**_

His various blue collar muggle occupations had allowed him to leave his life behind, afforded him independence from his parents and filled his idle hours that had previously been an open field where guilt and shame had battled with his sanity. He had shielded himself from the past, afraid that even a mere passing of a memory would take away the novel calm and peace his anonymous existence now provided him.

He thought he needed nothing more. Not until she found him.

_**Like a rose it will fade away**_

There she was, standing tall in the middle of the grassy course he is yet to cut, her red hair flaming under the sun appearing like a lone rose in a sea of green, blurring the muggles swinging golf clubs in the background.

She was the first concrete entity from the past. Unexpectedly, she brought not the nightmares of war, but rather, the bliss of first kisses and giddiness of first loves.

_**I'm leaving eveything.**_

He was anxiously waiting for his interview for a promotion. When he went into the muggle world, his only ambition was to escape. The simple meaning of success was when he walked down the road and there was no single accusing glare directed at him.

But he cannot be contented with that anymore, not with Ginny in his life now. He wanted to create a wonderful life, one befitting to support a family, a new happy family which can convince her to leave her own behind.

As he felt his nerves getting into him, he looked down at a cut portion of the Daily Prophet he hid in a folder. The column is a gossip of Harry Potter and Virginia Weasley's engagement. His resolve strengthened. He will clutch Ginny from the wizarding world that was holding her prisoner, away to a world where they will never hear Potter's name again.

_**I remember the moments**_

He sometimes wondered what they were doing. Ginny came to him but did not share anything with him. Often, she gave the impression of detachment. But once, when she thought he was already asleep, she kissed him on his forehead and pulled his head close to her breast. He decided to stop wondering and concentrate on creating a future where she would not have to wait for him to sleep before expressing what she felt.

_**Life was short for the romance**_

He had always let it pass. They had very few conversations, but the topic of her hatred with Harry often finds its way in.

"How dare he forgive people? It was not his brother who was killed!"

He had acted as if he did not hear. He pretended that it was not his family that Potter had forgiven. And despite all the penance he undertook to appease his guilt, when he lay in bed with Ginny, he rationalized that he was not responsible.

_**Put my hands on my bleeding heart**_

"You still don't get it? I just used you to hurt Harry." Ginny said with an air of arrogance and mocking. It was not what he had wanted to hear. Since she had not met with him for the past month, and since he had learned of the engagement last week, he had been telling himself that Ginny had wanted nothing more than explain this to him remorsefully... and that she would ask him to save her.

He painstakingly tracked her schedule down and had re-entered the wizarding world he had long avoided. He had let her see him in Flourish n Blotts as she picked out invitation papers and had eyed her from the outside of the boutique where she was getting her fitting. She knew she had to go out and see him before he made a scene, and before her mother or Hermione notices him.

"Then hurt him now! Break it off with him!"

"I can't."

"What is your plan then? You need me to do anything?" He pleaded.

"It's over Draco." She turned to leave but he pinned her back to the wall.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. It is just me you are hurting here Gin."

"Maybe I want to hurt you too?"

_**I'm leaving all behind**_

Potter would find them, but he did not care. If he needed to develop a portkey to another planet to have Ginny for himself, he would try.

His bags were neatly packed and his two plane tickets were tucked in his breast pocket. They would first travel the muggle way to setback apparition detection. His heart paced faster as he waited for Ginny.

The actual passing of moments, which felt too slow, seemed to be in disagreement with the muggle hotel room clock, which was ticking too quickly. He estimated the hour of the wedding, and his heart raced even more. Deciding to distract himself with a rundown of his plan and other contingency measures, he sat nearly motionless. Only when did he hear a knock on the door that he excitedly got up to open it. But there was no one there. He went back to his bed and laid down, his head swarming with ideas and holding back any thoughts of fear. He kept hearing footsteps towards his door, but nobody entered.

As the sky outside began to dim, he felt suffocated, the room was getting smaller, and the air seemed to be getting sucked from it. He started seeing Ginny running away from the altar in his mind. He was arguing with himself if he should meet her; fetch her, save her from the people who will unquestionably run after her?

The sound of the rain pouring outside made him stand up. He would go and get her. He ran out of his room and hotel, and out into the streets, standing drenched in the downpour. But he could not take a further step as strength left his feet. It is bad luck if it rains on one's wedding, he thought. But he very well knew that the wedding had been over for hours. His eyes stared blankly at the distance and saw a bride dashing towards him.

**No longer waiting**

He nodded to Harry, and then hurriedly brought his gaze back to his family. Entwining his fingers with Astoria's, they both bid their son goodbye.

Questions of which was planned and which was destined had not crossed his mind for eleven years now and not once today did he feel that he needed to lay his eyes on Ginny Weasley.


End file.
